Peace That Passes Understanding

Thank you so much for all of your kind notes and messages! Truly we have felt so loved and cared for by so many people! I really, really appreciate each one. Sometimes a message will come at just the right time when I need an encouraging word. So thank you!! I am so thankful for your prayers as well. We feel such peace! I have to say that I can relate very much to Peter these days. When I keep myself focused on the Lord, I feel such peace and I feel totally calm. When I take my eyes off Him and focus on the storm around me, I can feel myself sinking. Words like stage 4 and metastasis make me realize just how serious a situation we are facing. But then there is peace. Peace that passes understanding. It makes no sense to be this peaceful. But I am. Today. Right now. That's why we focus only on today. Tomorrow has enough trouble of its own. But today there is peace. And I am thankful for that. 

The most common question I get asked is "How are you?" It depends really. If you ask me in front of my kids, I will answer, "I'm fine". Not that I am trying to hide anything from them but I am trying to make life as normal for them as I can right now. I know that may change but right now, I don't want every moment of their day to be filled with worry and concern for me. Honestly though, if we are out and about, I probably am fine. Life still happens, groceries still need to be bought and errands need to be run. I am enjoying summer with my family as much as I am able to. I only have the youngest 3 at home with me during the day and we are enjoying the summer days together, yup, even the rainy ones!

Beach day!

I do, however, have considerably less energy than I am used to, so it takes me much longer to do things than usual. The tumor is in my bronchial tube right where it attaches to my lung so it is impossible to take a deep breath or exert too much energy at once. If I start to cough, it can get out of control quickly, so I try to keep activities that make it worse to a minimum. I also get tired very quickly. It is between a 4 and 5 hour round trip to the hospital right now, not including the actual appointments. Summer traffic is what it is and by the end of the day, I'm completely spent. 

Thankfully, this part of the drive is beautiful!

Technically, I am still in the diagnostic stage as we haven't started any official treatments yet. I am still making multiple trips to the hospital for different tests although occasionally, I can do some things here locally. I will see the oncologist this Tuesday so if you would pray for that, I would really appreciate it. For wisdom for the doctors and peace for us as we begin to see a treatment plan unfold. It has been almost 2 months since I first went to the doctor feeling unwell. Things are moving fairly slowly but with having a wedding this summer, that also gave us the opportunity to thoroughly enjoy it without the myriad of appointments and I am so thankful for that! 

My heart!! <3

The other thing we ask for is prayer for continued peace. That we would trust the Lord. In everything. That doesn't mean, of course, that we won't do all the things that we can to help the outcome but that ultimately, we would leave the outcome with Him. If you've ever had to do this then you know how incredibly difficult it is. The tendency to panic when we think about how things might go is overwhelming but it is still our desire to take every thought captive and be obedient in this area with our thoughts.

I am finding so much comfort in verses and hymns so I'm going to try to include some in each post, mostly for myself but I hope they will speak to you too. Thank you so much for caring about us and for praying with us. We are being well cared for and have had so much kindness shown to us. We are feeling the love and care of our Heavenly Father through the hands of special people here on earth. We are  truly blessed. 

1	Simply trusting every day; Trusting through a stormy way; Even when my faith is small, Trusting Jesus, that is all.
	Trusting as the moments fly, Trusting as the days go by, Trusting Him, whate’er befall, Trusting Jesus, that is all.
2	Brightly doth His Spirit shine Into this poor heart of mine; While He leads I cannot fall, Trusting Jesus, that is all.
3	Singing if my way be clear, Praying if the path be drear; If in danger, for Him call, Trusting Jesus, that is all.
4	Trusting Him while life shall last, Trusting Him till earth is past, Till His gracious advent call, Trusting Jesus, that is all.

 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 4:7