Time To Start

I finally received the call to come to the hospital today and pick up the medication, palbociclib. It's a little unnerving that the pharmacist had never heard of it, and neither had the nurses in oncology. It's apparently pretty new here. I've been doing a lot of reading up on it. I am trying to think more of the long term benefits rather than focusing on the side effects, of which there are many. Sigh.

I will also take letrozole and another drug. the name of which escapes me, to induce menopause (can you say 'hot flash'?). It wasn't there today because the pharmacy had to call in to make sure my oncologist really wants to use it because of how expensive it is. He does. So I will have to wait for that one which, if I am not mistaken, is an injection. 

Some people have been asking us what we've been doing while waiting for these drugs. We aren't really "put all your eggs in one basket" kind of people. We would like to do as many things as possible to "increase the likelihood of a favorable outcome for me". Some things are pretty easy to implement, like drinking a cup of tea. That sounds rather enjoyable even. Other things, like completely revamping my diet, not so much. I think I've been saying "the diet starts now...now...now... for just a little bit too long. Haha

(just a disclaimer - I don't get paid to take or recommend any therapy or supplement. I'm just telling you what we have been looking into or have found useful through ours -and others- research).

While I really like the idea of the Gerson therapy, it is very labour intensive. It also requires a 2 week stay in Mexico to learn the therapy and while that sounds quite nice right now, it is not in our foreseeable future. More likely, I will try to implement some of the principles of the therapy here on my own. I am not sure what this will look like but I am confident I can at least do some of it. I also like the Budwig Protocol and although some of it seems to contradict the Gerson therapy, I would like to implement principles from both. All that to ask, is diet playing a big part in what I'm doing? That would be a resounding YES! I'm not going completely vegan/organic but I am leaning very heavily in that direction, with the occasional exception. Basically, a no sugar (aaaahhh), no fruit, no  wheat, no dairy, organic hybrid of a keto/vegan ish style of eating. In other words, a lot of vegetables. If you have any recipes, feel free to send them my way.

There are lots of teas to drink.

Healthy fats and oils.

Vinegar and spices.

Smoothie ingredients for when I can't get a healthy meal in...

...which includes a good source of fermented protein.

Some vitamins and supplements.

I'm learning how to use essential oils...

...and even delving into the world of CBD and cannabis oils.

Not only focusing on food for the body but also food for thought...

...and most importantly, food for the soul. 

A sweet gift from a sweet friend.

If you only read one book this year, please, please make it this one! 

Trust me.

And finally, must. journal. everything.

So no, I haven't been sitting at home, waiting for the call. We've been pretty busy. A lot has changed in the world of cancer since I was diagnosed 12 years ago and we've had a lot of catching up to do. Is it overwhelming? In a word, yes!  There is a lot of information out there. Some useful, some not so much and sifting through it all takes time and energy. Once you do find things that can be useful...

We have to take this...

And turn it into this...

So that it will fit into here...

...so that I can have what I need close by and be able to take it with me if I have to leave. Everything is labeled so my family can locate things for me if necessary and there is also a master list of what I'm taking for my health care provider(s), if needed. Ready or not, it is time to start treating this and tomorrow is the day. I have an MRI of my brain in the morning (very early in the morning) so we plan to leave here around 4:00am (ish). Hopefully, the traffic will be much lighter around that time of day. Nausea is one of the side effects of this drug so I am going to have the MRI before I take my first dose. We will probably stay close by the hospital for a bit to make sure there aren't any immediate problems. 

If you would join us in prayer tomorrow, we would really appreciate it. 

So how am I doing? You know that feeling you have right before you jump off the high diving board or when you are at the top of a roller coaster that's about to drop? That's how I feel. Part of me wants to run and hide and part of me is so ready to do this. I'm part Braveheart, part Piglet (from Winnie the Pooh) at the moment. I'm really hoping the Braveheart part comes out on top! I want my kids to see me be brave and face this but there are times when the fear I have is paralyzing. When I think of this metastasizing to my brain and perhaps losing my cognitive abilities? These are the things my actual nightmares are made of. I have to take my thoughts captive over and over again and discipline myself to focus on the Lord and His Goodness and Mercy. To allow His will to flow over and through mine. He is the Potter, I am the clay. Mold me and draw me in until my will is completely and utterly lost in Yours.

That is how I long to live.

Please Lord, give me the Grace and strength to do it.

I Am Thine, O Lord

1	I am Thine, O Lord, I have heard Thy voice, And it told Thy love to me; But I long to rise in the arms of faith, And be closer drawn to Thee.
	Draw me nearer, nearer, blessed Lord, To the cross where Thou hast died; Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer, blessed Lord, To Thy precious, bleeding side.
2	Consecrate me now to Thy service, Lord, By the pow’r of grace divine; Let my soul look up with a steadfast hope, And my will be lost in Thine.
3	O the pure delight of a single hour That before Thy throne I spend, When I kneel in prayer, and with Thee, my God,  I commune as friend with friend!
4	There are depths of love that I yet may know  Ere Thee face to face I see; There are heights of joy that I yet may reach  Ere I rest in peace with Thee.

I've also been listening a lot to this and this.

The mind of man plans his way,

But the Lord directs his steps.

Proverbs 16:9