Health Update

This is not the update I was hoping to post today and I’m sorry that it has to be brief. I had a longer, more detailed post written and I accidentally deleted it and truly, I do not have the energy to start again.  The past few months have been a bit of a blur but I hope to be able to bring you up to date on where I am at the moment. 

I had a CT done a couple weeks ago and it is now showing widespread metastases. This is the first time that this has happened since I was originally diagnosed almost 18 years ago. We are shocked and trying to process it all as well as trying to figure out how I went from having a couple of spots on my lungs in July, to this. What I do know for certain is that, while this news is quite shocking to us, this is no surprise to the Lord. He has known me from before I was formed in my mother’s womb and He knows every cell in my body. I can’t begin to tell you what peace there is in knowing that! And while we struggle to process information, He does not. He’s already there preparing the way for us. While this is a fairly physical process now, it is also now, more than ever, the time to discipline our minds. Every single minute of the day, the temptation to panic is there and every single minute of the day has to be brought into submission.  This is the day that the Lord has made and we will rejoice and be glad in it.

There are some specific prayer requests for my praying friends. I have a fairly large mass (2 cm) on the mastoid bone behind my right ear which is putting a lot of pressure there. I haven’t been able to hear properly and the pressure is causing a fair bit of dizziness. I am now also having trouble with my vision. I am currently waiting to hear from the radiation oncologist to see if radiation will help bring that down to give me some relief. The other issue is a pain in my arm. I had a CT last night (on my birthday!) to see if the problem there can be determined. The two schools of thought are that either there is something there on the bone itself or one of the spots in my spine is putting pressure on a nerve. Either way, it can be extremely painful and it is currently making me reconsider my stand on no opioids. But those things aside, my most pressing prayer request at the moment is for the people around me. My family and also dear friends who are (and will be) struggling to understand this diagnosis as well. Oh Lord, undertake for them and keep them in your care. 

If you pray for me, please pray for courage. This business is not for the faint of heart and I am not immune to the struggles that go along with it. I am desperately trying to keep my boat water free. The analogy being that ships are not destroyed by the massive amount of water around them, they are destroyed by the much smaller amount of water that gets in them. Part of this is done by the Lord’s merciful and gentle care and part by the discipline we have to have over our hearts and minds. (There’s a sermon in there waiting to be preached!) Am I speaking of salvation? Absolutely not, that is a work that is done completely by Christ on our behalf. What I am speaking of is sanctification which is the process of making us more like Him and oh my, I can’t begin to tell you how real it is to show you my faith by my works. (James 2:18)

Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flow the well springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

And yet even if the water does get in sometimes (and sometimes it does!), He is there with me. My Rock, my Fortress, and also my Hiding Place, tucking me away from this world and all its cares where I have experienced such deep communion with Him. My spirit is truly at peace even if my physical body still needs ways to decompress. My finite wife/momma/grammie’s mind, however, still has the tendency, to worry about things that are not my business to worry about and so I have to give them back to the Lord over and over and over again, multiple times a day.  There are so many uncertainties and decisions that have to be made that it can just be plain overwhelming at times. So we pray for peace as well as direction in the days to come with their myriad of tests and scans.

Thank you, praying friend, for bringing us once again before the Throne of God as we wait to see what His answer is. Although we may not know the outcome right now, what we do know for sure is that it will be Good because He is Good. 

All the time.

~ It Is Well With My Soul ~

When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well (it is well)

With my soul (with my soul)

It is well, it is well, with my soul

Though Satan should buffet tho trials should come

Let this blest assurance control

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate

And has shed His own blood for my soul

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought

My sin, not in part but the whole

Is nailed to His cross and I bear it no more

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, oh, my soul

And Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll

The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend

Even so, it is well with my soul

Words: Horatio G. Spafford, 1873

Music: Philip P. Bliss , 1876

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee".

Isaiah 26:3