Just Doing Today

I really, really need to say thank you! To so many people!! I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful we are! People have shared with us of their time and of their resources, have made meals for us, and some have just gone above and beyond. We have truly felt so loved and cared for! Thank you to each of you and so importantly, thank you to those of you who are praying with us. The number of people praying is truly humbling. The Lord hears our prayers and is undertaking for us. Truly undertaking. Not only meeting our immediate needs but also comforting us and holding us and going ahead of us and preparing us. So thank you. Thank you so much! ❤

I'm so thankful that all we have to do is today. Something that I say regularly now and probably will continue to say is, “I just have to do today”. That’s it. Just today. Some days that’s all I can do. Most days if I’m being honest. To try and look too far ahead is too much. As the hymn writer said, “I don’t know what tomorrow holds but I know Who holds tomorrow”. And that’s enough for me.

I did several rounds of radiation to my skull in December. I had to go once a day for five days. On one of those days there was a major traffic incident that took us 6 hours for the round trip, so thankfully, the cancer clinic provided us with accommodations for the last three days. That made getting back and forth to the hospital so much easier and meant that for the rest of the day I could rest instead of making the trip home and back again the next day. I don’t know why but even just being a passenger in the vehicle is exhausting. The side effects of radiation have been mostly just nausea and fatigue. I’ve lost the hair behind my ear but I would gladly trade that now that I am able to hear again!! My hearing still comes and goes at times but I am very thankful to be able to hear at least some of the time! And I am also so thankful to be able to read again! I cannot tell you what a pleasure it is to pick up a book and read! I enjoy listening to audio books but just being able to pick up my Bible and read? Goodness, you don’t even know what a privilege it is until you can’t do it!

I was scheduled for radiation to my spine last week but I picked up the bug that everyone seems to have so the decision was made to postpone it until I’m feeling better. I’m currently having some nerve issues in my arms and hands that they think are related to spots in my spine so it will be interesting to see how radiation works in this case. Even typing is fairly awkward because I don’t have proper feeling in my fingers anymore. It would be lovely of course, to have complete resolution of this but I’m leaving that it where it belongs, with the Lord. I just have to do today.

I also have a spot on the femur of my right leg that causes me issues with walking. The pain level is tolerable right now but it gives me a bit of a limp when I walk and it feels like my leg could give out on me at any time. That’s why if I’m out and about, I’m usually holding someone’s arm although I also have a walker that I can use as well. Thanks Mom! There is surgery that can be done to put a rod in to strengthen the bone but we aren’t there yet.  I just have to do today.

Sometimes it feels like we are playing a bit of ‘whack a mole’. Just dealing with the most pressing issues as they come up and letting some things go for now. They haven’t changed my chemo yet so I’m still doing the oral pills for 21 days and then a 7 day break. They’ve also added a bone strengthening IV infusion to try to keep my bones from breaking. If you remember, I had a compression fracture to one of my vertebrae in the summer just getting up from my chair. Not fun at all. 

Probably the biggest issue I have on a daily basis is breathing. I have new growth in both lungs so it is just difficult to breathe some days. Sometimes the puffers work and sometimes they make it worse. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to say that adding an upper respiratory issue in there has not been ideal. Thankfully though, my oxygen levels are holding steady for now. I’ve been trying to find the balance between pushing myself a bit and resting. It seems like it should be easy but it changes every day. Thankfully, I only have to do today.

So how are we? As usual, it depends on the day. Some days are better than others for all of us. Some days we struggle. Some days we cry. Some days we appear to be handling things and other days, not so much. There is no one size fits all way to do this and because there are so many different personalities here, it makes sense to break things down into smaller, more manageable sized pieces. Focus on the day in front of us. We pray for the strength we need for today and we trust that the Lord is already there preparing the way for us tomorrow. If this is beginning to sound repetitive, that’s because it is. So many days just doing and thinking the same things over and over and over.  Strength for today, hope for tomorrow. One day at a time. One step at a time. One thought at a time. Just do the next thing. Reign in my thoughts. Surround ourselves with Truth. I need Thee Lord, oh how I need Thee over and over and over again. Leaving the unknown future with Him and trusting Him to provide everything we need for today. This day.

 So thankful that is all we ever have to do. 

Just today.

Trusting Jesus

Simply trusting every day, Trusting through a stormy way;

Even when my faith is small, Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Refrain:

Trusting as the moments fly, Trusting as the days go by;

Trusting Him whate'er befall, Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Brightly doth His Spirit shine, Into this poor heart of mine;

While He leads I cannot fall, Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Singing if my way is clear, Praying if the path be drear;

If in danger for Him call, Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Trusting Him while life shall last, Trusting Him till earth be past;

Till within the jasper wall, Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Author: Edgar Page ~ 1876

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5